Yes, it is my choice, not yours

Choices. We all have to make them. From the mundane of picking out which shoes to wear with that dress to picking the right school to go to college. Every choice is yours to make and is just that…….yours. YOU picked the shoes the don’t really go with that dress, YOU picked the parking spot that was under a tree with a nest full of birds, YOU made those choices and you have to live with them.

 

My choices are mine. What I  decide to do with my child, my car, my life, is mine. Yes, I am defensive when you question what I do. Do you live my life? Do you deal with my life on a daily basis? No you don’t. That little snippet of my day, that 10 minutes that you saw of me having; in your words, a meltdown, was just that. 10 minutes of my day, 10 minutes of the 1,440 minutes don’t think you know me and how i live or anything about me. You are not a major player in my life.

 

Several times a day I hear people tell me daughter, “oh mommy’s just tired, she didn’t mean that.” or “let’s go do this while mommy calms down”. Please don’t undermine my parenting. Did my tone of voice offend you? Did my telling my daughter, for the fifth time, to stop doing something, make you upset? I’m sorry to hear that but that is my choice to handle the situation that way. I am in no position to judge other people, yes I can have an opinion, but it’s just that. My opinion. I don’t have any say in what you do, how you handle a situation. If you choose to handle a situation in a certain way, that’s your choice, not mine.

 

Remember, Your choices are your choices and mine are mine.

I caught part of a story on CNN. A mother took her autistic son, 2-3yr old, to a hair salon to get his hair cut. They were kicked out by the owner because the child was “out of control” and it was “unfair to her other clients” to have to listen to his crying. They finished the hair cut outside. There is also a post about it on Facebook somewhere.

Now one of their correspondents, I think, was saying that there are dentists offices, hair salons, etc, that have special hours for their special needs patients. That’s great. M’s argument? “Why would you take him to a public place to get a haircut? You know he doesn’t like it so do it at home?” Me? Why do I need to hide my child? There is nothing wrong with him that means he can’t be in public. There are plenty of “normal” children who don’t like haircuts, who freak out at people touching their heads, etc. so what makes an autistic child so different? Autistic children, in whatever degree of autism, need people to understand that yes, they have special needs, but they are still children. They can’t explain everything that is happening to them, they don’t always have the words to define what they are experiencing or are able to understand what they are feeling.

 

To parents of special needs children, I am sending you a HUGE hug today.

I don’t really care for Mother’s Day

Yes, I know that title may have caught some attention. But ti’s the truth, I don’t really like Mother’s Day. Or my birthday, or Valentine’s day. Those days are just not that special to me. They are just making the world, mostly men, feel guilty for not doing something special for us women.

 

Take Valentine’s Day. It was originally a day when a Bishop was beheaded for marrying couples outside of what the lords wanted. And now it’s a day of marriage proposals, elaborate evenings with your significant other, trying to outdo what you did the year before. And why? Because it’s your way of saying “I love you”. Why can’t you do something special on a random day for your spouse? Mother’s Day is a day when you celebrate what a wonder job your mother is doing, for saying “Thank you for everything you do everyday”, to Mom. But for me it, that is not he case.

 

For me it was just another day, true my daughter wanted to make me breakfast and did with the help of her Dad, but I still had to wash the dishes they made, wipe down the counter, wash a load of clothes, and did my Girl Scout duty. Nothing special for me today.

 

I wish all those that were treated to something special the best, to those that make it every day, I wish you love and happiness. I am just a very cynical person and today was not a good day for me.

Some days are harder than others

They truly are. I don’t know how I manage to go through most days but I do. I know that when there are things to do whether I want to get off my butt or not, they need to get done. There are days when I want to stay in bed and not do anything but I can’t. I can’t NOT do nothing. I can’t. I tried doing an eye treatment, where I had to put cucumbers on my eyes for 15 minutes. It was the longest 15 minutes in my life. it really was. I have to keep moving, doing things, shaking and dancing. I think I can wait until I am old to stop moving, lol.

Hello…..again

I know I’ve been away for a long time and things have just gotten away from me. So I am going to try…again….to keep up with this. I need to start using my blog as a chance to dump all my problems, to put it out into the world without using names, to get it out of my head and make it possible for me to function without going crazy. Wish me luck!

Spring has sprung…….I think

Well we had the freakish winter. Living in the desert I don’t expect to get snow this winter we got over a foot and a half!!!! In four separate occasions! And having lived her for the past 8 years and not really had a winter, this was quite a shock to my system. I the heating bills were out of control! But that’s ok, that’s a totally different story. After Groundhogs Day, I was hoping for an early SPring, like he predicted, but we got another snow after that! So for the past couple of weeks it’s been slowly getting warmer and it’s been nice. But my nose is not agreeing with it. My nose is having problems. I need my allergy meds to kick in and for my nose to stop running but I guess I will have to wait until Fall.

 

Get out and enjoy the warm weather!