I am starting to find some things really funny. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense at the moment but it will when I explain what I am talking about.
I am working with another teacher to get a program together for the adult dance classes. Like I have already explained in this post hw is just here for the adult classes not for the kids. Well S had asked me about a week ago, when we had worked together for about 3 nights so far, how I felt about going on a diet. Not for appearance reasons but mainly because it would make it eaiser for me to do the moves if I don’t have a lot of extra weight. The way that he said wasn’t offense at all but afterwards when I was in the car onmy way home I started laughing. If that had been said to me when I was in my 20’s I would have started crying, just bawling my eyes out over that.
In my 20’s I was not comfortable with myself so for anyone to say something like that to me hurt so much. A dentist told me something about my teeth and made some remark about me “being so pretty” and “what a shame it would be” blahblah blah. I started crying, all because he gave me a complement (kinda) and I was not comfortable with it. It’s a little sad when I look back at it now. I wish had been more secure in my body but for so many years all I heard was that I wasn’t skinny like my sister or smart like my other sister. Stuff like that.
But now I am in my 30’s, true I am only 32 but still that counts, I can deal with what is said about me. I will never be my sisters and tht is just something I have come to terms with. I am my own person and that is that.