Playing well with others

I realized the other day that I do not play well with other people. Well that’s not true. I actually don’t hang out with other people very well. I am relaxed person by nature, it takes a lot to stress me out. Heck, look at my week. I work from 9am to 5pm three days a week, from noon to 5pm two days a week, I have a Zumba class; which is an hour-long by the way; two nights a week, I take a ballet class one night a week, and  teach a children’s dance class two afternoons a week. And that has nothing to do with my weekends. It’s summer so I am trying to get Savie in the pool to swim and have a garden at home to take care of as well as the one that is here at my studio.

I have invited my friend S along on several outings with Savie, mainly because her daughter J is my daughter’s best friend. I thought it would be relaxing but it is so far from relaxing. Last week we went to a ball game here in town and the entire time she was freaked out by what her daughter was doing, where was she, is that normal? I chalk a lot of it up to the fact that she doesn’t spent a lot of time with her. She works full-time so I have her all day and then on the weekends she’s tired. She’s a single parent doing the best she can with what she ahs to work with but it is driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do. I mean I want to hang out with her but it’s a drain on me mentally because she’s always asking me if she’s doing the right thing, if she responded to what just happened the right way, etc. No one is perfect and you have to make mistakes to find the right way that works for you.

So this is my question, do I continue to invite this person to do stuff with us even though I am emotionally drained by the end of the outing?

Ah to be perfect……

I am not a perfect parent, this I know but please don’t come to me when you are complaining about your home life. I have sympathy but when you are the ones putting yourselves in that position then it’s a little hard for me to feel bad for you. But I do.

 

To my mommy friend who complains that there is always a mess in her house, stuffed animals everywhere and the kids have no control over their bodies. To this I say, stop buying them stuff from the thrift store! Make them put their toys away! Make them clean up! You are the parent and the one in charge, you have the power to make them do what you want them to do, within reason of course. Help them go through their things and get rid of things that they don’t play with every day. yes, they will say that they love every toy and that every one of them is special somehow but really, when was the last time they played with toy frog that someone gave you at the baby shower? 5, 6 years ago? Get rid of it. Take the thrift store, have a yard sale, pass it on to someone who has a kid who into frogs right now but get rid of it.

 

To the one that says that their child is always talking back and giving them lip, stop them. I’m not saying that you have to spank them but if you stop them before they finish that sentence with the altitude that they have, they will learn. Don’t let them talk to you in a way that you wouldn’t let adults. If you don’t, they will continue to think that it’s ok.

 

Stop pawning your kids off on someone else. They are your children, you had them, you take care of them. And bad-mouthing your spouse all over town is not the way to get them on your side. It’s just a matter of time before someone tells the other what was said and that is just not pretty.

 

I understand that having children doesn’t come with a how-to book but you have to learn as you go. There is always something to learn and you have to open your eyes long enough to see it. Read some books, take a parenting class, learn from watching other people, something. We all have something to learn and this is the only way we can. From doing and learning. Good luck!!

It’s a new day

It’s a new day for me. After dealing with my hair for years, not liking the way it looked after a day, spending most of a day in the salon just to sleep on my hair and ruin it. It’s one of the reasons I don’t post pictures of myself. I don’t like the way I look in my pictures. Savie on the other hand, looks adorable and cute all the time. Why? Because she has what I call “Good Hair”.

The only reason it’s Good Hair is because nothing has been done to it. It hasn’t been relaxed, hot combed, blown dry, curled, or dyed. It is as natural as can be. That is where I plan to be in a year. Completely natural. No more relaxing my hair, no hot comb, nothing. I have not had a perm in my hair for a couple of months now but that was mainly because I could afford to take time out and go the salon. that’s another factor in this whole hair issue. I have been thinking about it for the past week but it’s something that I finally said out loud on Tuesday.

I have spent a lot of time looking online, trying to figure out just what is involved, what to expect, trying to prepare myself for the future. I am not ready but I am hoping that these other blogs, Newly Natural, and NaturallyCurly.com, will help me  figure things out. There are also some video’s on YouTube that helped me make up my mind.

I have started this journey, mainly in my head, but the more I tell people the more it becomes a reality.